It could be worse … but it was bad enough.

I have to say that this has not been the best … what … month?  Week?  Something like that.  My sister-in-law passed away.  Which was hard.  And I lost my job.  And that was hard.  I still have A job, but I don’t have MY job.  So, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed … sad but grateful that things weren’t as bad as they could be.  Many people have it much, much, much worse.

And last night, my son was involved in an accident and got his front teeth knocked out.  Not out of his head, but damaged so badly that they had to be taken out of his head, which is damn close enough.

As a parent, you have these moments that are so awful that there are no words to describe them.  Watching your son get oral surgery is not really one of them, but you get these little brushes of what it would be like if things were really bad.  And I don’t know how parents deal with those moments.  Even on the edge of that parental abyss, you can feel what it must be like.

It feels like terror.  It feels like grief.  It feels like anxiety.  It feels like exhaustion.  It feels like vertigo and disorientation.  It feels like being physically ill.

I kept saying that it could have been worse — and the fact that it wasn’t worse makes me profoundly grateful.  My husband would agree with me and would say that yes, it could have been worse, but it was bad enough.  And I couldn’t help but think of all of the parents at the bedside of sick or injured children, and my heart went out to each of them.

So my son is short a couple of teeth.  I liked those teeth.  I liked those teeth in his mouth.  I like the way that those teeth looked when he smiled.  I will miss his teeth.  He is struggling a little with what it means to have no front teeth.  He can’t get dental implants for at least two years, as he is still growing.

So, the last month has not been an actual picnic.  Things could have been worse.  But it has been bad enough.

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